In response to my last post a friend asked "How can I help?" Back in undergrad, I was able to confide in only a few friends, two to be exact. Since then, I have kept in contact with one. Neither of these girls provided guidance, but an ear to listen. I think that is the best kind of help I can receive. Someone to hear my story, and my thoughts. I like to think out loud, and I do want advice, but only from someone who is going through the same experience. (Tessa, I still want you to ask questions, because they provoke new insights into myself. I know I am stubborn, especially with Mia, and I need to make my own mistakes in order to learn... I need to experience Mia through all her highs and lows, in order to discover, heal, and free myself from the imprisonment that holds me back.
I am grateful for the friends I have, two to be exact. I wish one was more then just a phone call away and I wish one would stay with me... but I know she is moving onto greater and more spectacular adventures. I also have another 'friend' here at school. I used friend with quotations because I am not sure how to classify this relationship. There are times when I think she is true: compassionate and loving. These are the moments that make we want to reach out to her, and thank her for being such a wonderful person. But then, she changes. She becomes self-absorbed, selfish, conceited, and competitive. I don't know who she is... the friend I want or the girl I just tolerate? Why does someone need to be the center of attention, and how does one change at the drop of a hat? I just don't understand. Who are you really?
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Well, I'm good at listening and asking questions, so just let me know when I'm pushing too hard or not enough. Sometimes it's hard for me to gauge.
ReplyDeleteWell said about the 'friend.' I couldn't have described her better myself.
And, just because I'm moving away, I have no intentions of abandoming you. As long as you don't give up on me, I will try my damnest to still be there.
Hang in there. I know you can make it!
A lot became clearer during the conference. And I think as long as we both don't give up, we should be successful... I am still not making any promises, because I know how you feel about them. :)
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