It's been forever

I know, I've been a bad blogger. But in all honesty, things have been relatively boring with my life. I am swamped with lab work and school work, but I guess that should be expected. Mia has been good to me lately, I have hardly purged in such a long time and have come to except my over-eating habits. I am working on getting better with that, but at least I am feeling better about recovery... it is an attainable goal.

This brings me to another thought. I have stopped looking at my workbook. I am in such a comfortable state with my life that I can't help but fear that the workbook will open up a new door for me to walk through and throw my contentness (?) into shambles. So, is this progress? I am not sure. I have a friend who I trust; I have a boyfriend, which I am falling in love with (more on that later), and a career goal that I finally feel like is within my reach. I am not 100% happy, but I satisfied with my direction. Sure I wish that my skin was clearer, I was thinner, my roommate wasn't a manipulative, user, or that my other "friend" wasn't taking advantage of me all the time. I accept all of my faults and failures, and am able to look in the mirror without disgust. Yes, I am not happy with who I look at, but I can look at her. I'm not sure that I am in a standstill. Is this just very slow, sloth-like, progress? Or am I not moving?

I still feel like chatting, so here is a brief update. I have been pissing off my "friend" Mingo, for awhile now. For instance, today, I agreed to help her with this project but she never said what time we would work on her project. So, I went to lunch with friends. She calls, and is mad that I can't help her. CLEARLY MY FAULT! Also... she doesn't know how to work the machine, nor does she have any buffer prepared... WTF. I am NOT doing her research. I will help, that's it, end of story. Josh, in the meantime, has been amazing to me. I never knew how considerate someone could be. Mark was a good guy, and cared about me... but this is so much more different, and deeper. I haven't spent any time with him in 4 days, and I miss him. I've never felt like this before... and I'm scared. Crazy... huh?